Friday, March 2, 2012

Movies You Can't Not Watch

This morning as I was driving to work, the radio host brought up an interesting topic.  He had a list of 10 movies that a blogger claimed no man could see was on television and not watch.  Some of this guy's choices were excellent and true, such as The Godfather.  However, some of them were really dumb; what guy puts Gone With The Wind on his list of top 10 movies that he must watch if he sees it is on?!  He might as well put Pretty in Pink or Pretty Woman on his list.  He did have The Breakfast Club and while it is a good movie, I wouldn't call it a "guy's" movie and certainly not one that any man should stop channel surfing and watch.  A few callers chimed in a listed some alternative to put on the list; of course, I think I know better than all of them and made my own list.  Before you read it, let me say that there were some tough cuts and there will be an honorable mention list given as well.  These are not in any particular order, so don't think I'm saying that the #1 movie is better than #10, although it very well may be.  However, that is not the point.  So without any further ranting and needless build-up, here is my list of the top 10 movies any guy should stop and watch if he sees it on television:

1. Dirty Harry- If you turn the channel when you see this movie on, Clint Eastwood is going to show up at your house with a .44 and make your day.  Sure the special effects are old and the graphics leave a lot to be desired, but all that is overshadowed by the screen presence of Eastwood's tough, mean San Fransisco cop.  While we're on this subject, if you happen to see of the sequels on television, watch those too.

2. Field of Dreams- I think the show How I Met Your Mother made it perfectly clear that all men must watch this movie (in the episode where Robin calls it a stupid movie and all the guys get offended).  No, it's not an action movie.  Yes, it has a touching plot.  But you cannot be a man and not have some kind of attachment to this movie.  If you don't feel you do, then get your purse and go get your mammogram.

3. Blazing Saddles- There is only one reason to change the channel if this movie comes on: if it is an edited version.  Most t.v. versions of this movie leave out the classic bean/fart scene.  Stupid humor, perhaps; but that doesn't change the fact that it is funny every single time.  If it comes on and it is not edited, you better not change the channel or I will question the presence of your schnitzingruben.

4. Saving Private Ryan- I know it's long and I know television editors will take a lot of the gore out; but it is still one of the best movies ever and amazingly depicts the bond that can form between men who fight side by side.  Don't make Tom Hanks journey for days, killing Nazis, to find you and make you watch the movie.  He won't be happy and Vin Diesel's character can only die once (unfortunately).

5. The Godfather- The blogger hit the nail on the head here.  What isn't there to like about his movie?  It's got everything a guy could possibly want in a movie.  In addition, it has just about everything any movie lover would want.  Good acting, good plot, and plenty of twists and turns.  What would be even better is if you got the second one on right after it.  Yes, it would take all day to watch, but if you don't you might find a horse head in bed with you when you wake up.

6. Unforgiven- Yes, another Clint Eastwood movie.  It's not my fault he made a ton of movies that appeal to guys and that they happen to be good movies overall.  This one has the Best Picture Oscar to prove it (it's 1 of 3 Westerns to win best picture).  Clint Eastwood, Morgan Freeman, Gene Hackman, and Richard Harris; need I say more?  Four of the best men's men who ever acted in a movie put together into one production, and you have yourself a classic.  Don't make Eastwood come out of retirement to blow your head off for not watching, this movie shows he's capable of it.

7. Shawshank Redemption- Whether any guy will admit it or not, we all think about busting out of prison even if we are not in prison.  For whatever reason it is just something that every guy would like to do sometime (without committing the crime to get himself into prison; and not have to go through the part with the Sisters).  I know there's no graphic violence and no women, but they are not needed to make this movie awesome. 

8. The Outlaw Josey Wales- Okay, I know; this is the third Eastwood movie on here.  But like I said, the guy makes good movies.  I have easily seen this movie 30 times in my life.  Yes, it is long, but it is a phenomenally good movie.  Not only that, but the kid that rides with him at the beginning looks like a young Larry Bird.

9. Ocean's 11- I know that the new one is pretty good, but the one I'm referencing here is the original.  You know, the one with Frank Sinatra, Sammy Davis Jr., Dean Martin, and the rest of the rat pack.  No list of guy's movies would be complete without the Rat Pack.  This is back when it was cool for guys to sing and dance.  There are no cool spy/master criminal effects, but it is retro Hollywood and takes us back to when men were much more cooler than they are today.

10. The 3 Stooges- They just don't make comedies like they used to, and the Stooges are by far and away funnier than anything today.  If you are in a room with guys when any of the Stooges' shorts come on and you change the channel, I hope they go all Moe and Larry on you. 

Honorable Mention: Rocky (only the first one); Pulp Fiction; Young Frankenstein; The Matrix (again, only the first one); The Departed (it pained me to not put it in the top 10); Happy Gilmore; Caddyshack; Raiders of the Lost Ark


  1. I think you could sum up several of those into one category: Clint Eastwood. Actually, there are maybe 2 of his movies I will not watch.

    1. Clint Eastwood
    2. Saving Private Ryan
    3. Shawshank Redemption
    4. Mel Brooks
    5. Leathal Weapon (and not just the first one, all 4 are good.)
    6. Die Hard (Especially the first one. The other ones are still good, but not as good.)
    7. 1/2 of Adam Sandler's movies (Happy Gilmore, big daddy, Billy Madison, The Longest Yard)
    8. Indiana Jones
    9. Star Wars (especailly the first three ep 4,5, and 6, 2 and 3 are also very good, and ep 1 is only ok)
    10. I'll give you Ocean's 11, but I haven't seen the original.

    Some of these I have not seen and I do not have much desire to see. I do not want to see Field of Dream, or any of the mobster movies.

  2. I think I'm going to argue with you on this one. 70% of the movies on your list will be significantly emasculated. To go ahead and watch these movies without their "punch", if you will, is to disrespect them.

    I'll never forget the time I tried to watch The Departed on TV. After the 17th instance (I counted) of the f-word being overdubbed as "heck", I decided that enough was enough. Not that I have to have violence, nudity, or crude language to be satisfied--rather, I prefer to watch movies as they are intended to be watched. As they are originally conceived.